“I had to do that(beat up the father) because I couldn’t keep on watching. If I had the chance, I would have done more.”
Who said that only parents discipline their children when they fail to obey orders? This should be the last glimpse of that belief. In Kenya, children “discipline up” their parents for alleged mismanagement of resources or inability to provide for the family.
A situation witnessed sometime back left me vexed about what poverty can do in families. Domestic violence tends to occur in poor families than in those that are fairly placed.
A very energetic young man in his mid 20’s in Kakamega south district had thoroughly supplied beatings to his father maiming him badly.
He had utilized the support of a panga and long huge logs of to work on his father who unconsciously sustained deep cuts and wounds after severe bleeding.
The father was later taken to hospital by neighbours and the perpetrator the disappeared sought refuge among relatives.
Later I talked to the culprit after his father had regained conscience upon a one month treatment and he was not sorry, he said;
“I had to do that because I couldn’t keep on watching. If I had the chance, I would have done more.”
My follow up revealed that the parent had purchased a heifer after selling some trees in the estate and the son demanded to own the heifer contrary to his father’s wishes.
This was then the inception of the thumping. The father later said he could not report the case to the police after being advised by village elders though the matter had been discussed at the office of the area assistant chief and a warning sounded to the young man.
The rural based family of about 15 with elder bothers and sisters in the city, marriage and others in school lives in abject poverty with the parents depending on their elder sons and daughters for a livelihood.
Earlier in the neighbourhood, an elderly woman had been whipped by her son for reasons that were not established but revolving around poverty.
Allegedly, the poor mother had sold a few strokes of sugarcane which had been harvested from a piece of land which the son claimed ownership.
The scene ended up badly because the woman had stripped herself before the son who didn’t even shy away from whipping her till neighbours interceded.
Many male parents especially, find it difficult to share this part of the story with their peers fearing that they may be looked down upon.
But the silence has continued to work against them as only a handful open up to their friends.
In both rural and urban setups, these parents feel ashamed to report their sons and daughters to law enforcement authorities with apprehension that this could cause more ignitions to the trouble later.
Some of the reasons why they face the trouble are beyond their control, poverty, although some people believe that a person can decide to remain poor or become rich. This assertion is beyond what man can do because it is nature regulated.
Religious books offer a very competitive reward to children who obey their parents that they will have a long life on earth.
This has also been hastened by families and in public forums demanding a lot from children in terms of obedience not only to the family but also to society norms and culture.
However, young people find it difficult to adapt to the cultural norms viewing them as backward.
Maybe, discipline has gone down as the dotcom gap augment between the elderly and young people in the society.
With a major focus on families living close or below the poverty, domestic conflicts ranging from succession and circulation of wealth under their scanty nature of resources are predominantly increasing.
Conditions are even harder when elderly destitute male parents rear scores of sons and daughters who cannot look beyond the box. Mothers may be advantaged as most children act in their favour.
Non enterprising young people, most being school drop outs, are egocentric. They keep watch over property owned by their parents with a hope that they will one day take over the ownership.
Many pray to wake up and find their parents dead so that they can take over. They do not look wide to see other opportunities to earn a livelihood of their own but instead, they are always ready to defend their ego.
Young people need to learn to respect their parents. They would be wise if they ran away if they sensed a particular conversation leading them to a fight with elderly men and women. They are a shame to the new generation.
